Another reason why

How many people can say they truly love their job? Most people I talk to don't love their jobs at all. For most people work is a necessary evil to be able to make ends meet and pay the bills.

I can't just settle on a job that is a necessary evil. I am not a person that settles for anything. I am a hard working, dedicated and loyal and I look for the same in a future employer.

I am not happy sitting behind a desk for 8 hours a day. Breathing the same air conditioned air, staring at the same neutral colored walls, watching the day time pass by out a window is no way for me to spend a day. I need to be out working in that sun, sweating, getting dirty, blistering my hands. I want a job that gives me not only a mental challenge, but a physical one as well. I want a job that is ever changing, where I have to be a constant student, always training and anticipating what will come next.

When I set my mind to something I get great satisfaction of completing said task. When I am held responsible for a job I make sure it is something I can be proud with turning in.

I was taught by my parents that you get a job and keep that job. My dad worked for over 25 years for the same employer, my mom is still working for the same person that hired her at the age of 15. When I get a job it is for the long term. I want a job that is going to be around in the future. I want a job that is something to be proud of, something that it is easy to want to perform for. I want something that is rewarding, that makes me feel like I have accomplished real work. I want to work on a team, communicating and compromising our way to a solution.

Not many people find what they are looking for in a job. I have talked to people in their 50's that still don't know what they want to be when they grow up. That saddens me and I don't want to end up like that. I am so happy to have found something that I feel like fits me as well as I fit it. Something that I choose on my own and not something I settle for. Something that gives me a cross to believe in and stand up for.

Ok, I chase fire trucks

Yeah I am one of those nerds. The sound of the sirens coming from in the distance perks my ears. The fire truck has a different siren from a police car or ambulance. Before it crests the hill, rounds the corner and comes into view my heart starts racing. The sound of the air horn as they pass through intersections starts a mild sweat on my forehead. Seeing the big red truck with the flashing lights and blaring sirens reassures me that my dream job is being inside of that truck on the way to the call.

Pretty much anytime this situation presents itself I instantly become side tracked and begin to try and figure out how I can adjust my route to accommodate following the truck that is running hot. Sometimes a u-turn is in order. Other times all I have to do is pull over to the right and yield then I can catch the green lights with the truck as we speed down the street. Now I follow all traffic laws and most of the time the truck gets away from me before reaching the scene. I still feel the need to follow, in hopes that I will be able to see the big one or at least be able see something. Smoke showing, a code blue, a injury accident, something, ANYTHING. I try to explain this to others not involved in the fire service and they don't get it. I guess that makes me different. "What would you do if you got there and it was something bad?" Easy, I would stand there, stay out of the way and make the best mental notes possible. Same thing I do while riding along. It is just cool to see what I have trained for be successfully executed in real life. To watch the team work and communication take place is invaluable learning for me. Not to mention the adrenaline rush of speculating what call I am headed to helps get me through the week.

Now not only do I follow the trucks to calls. I frequently plan my route to and from work, the store or anywhere to include a trip past a fire station. I figure my chances of catching a truck running hot is the greatest while in close proximity to a station. I stare in the bay doors as I pass to see if a truck is missing. If it is I look up and down each side street hoping to catch a bright light flashing with in view. If both trucks are gone I almost get mad because if both trucks are responding to a call it could be a big one. I check the sky for smoke clouds, turn my radio off and roll my windows down both listening and smelling.

One time it did work out. Driving home I saw a huge tower of smoke on the horizon. I followed it down Metcalf and into down town Overland Park. Sure enough it was the big one. An old art gallery had caught fire and ended up burning to the ground. Streets were already blocked off so I couldn't get as close to the action as I wanted, but still close enough to feel the excitement of the scene. The smell of smoke in the air and the look of worry on citizens faces was very real, and very exciting. This was before I started my training, and might have been a turning point in my life, turning me toward this dream career. I remember driving away from there thinking how cool it was and how good it felt to find the scene on my own just from following the smoke. I didn't think that day that I might want to do this for a living, but it put thoughts in my head about what it would be like if I did do this for a living. It was a starting point of the internal debate that took on that eventually lead me to the training grounds.

CPAT results

Sorry I have fallen off the face of the blog for a little while. The CPAT went great. I passed it in 9 minutes and 27 seconds. Meaning I had about an extra minute of time I could have taken. But, I am glad that I was able to finish with time to spare. Getting off the stairs I was confident that I was going to finish, but my legs were defiantly Jell-O after that. Pulling the hose was relatively easy, the equipment carry and ladder raise was great time to catch my breath. I got the forcible entry prop in 7 swings. I figured it would take about 10 so I made up about 15 seconds there. The search was easy and another chance to catch a breather. In between the forcible entry and the search I tried to ask my proctor if I was making a good pace. They aren't suppose to tell you your time and he was very uncomfortable with me asking that. I thought it was a safe question because I wasn't asking my time I was just trying to see if he would tell me if I needed to speed it up. he said I was doing fine and we moved on. Then during the rescue drag of the dummy one of the others were telling me to keep it up and keep my pace going. I then got nervous and really turned it on at the end. I flew through the ceiling breach and pull and then was out of breath. But that was worth it as I found out I passed. The next day my arms were actually a little sore, which I never expected. I must have not used as much of my legs and body on the ceiling breach as I thought I did. Probably arm muscled through a lot just trying to keep a quick pace. All in all I am glad to have another hurdle down. It was especially good timing because a week afterward I got a ingrown toe nails that killed me for a few days. There is reason to believe that had I got that ingrown nail before the CPAT I might have got a different outcome. One of my buddies had his knees lock up on him and he failed the test after the hose pull. Poor guy, I hope his body can hold up. I feel like I am still working toward my peak physical condition. Now if I could only get my diet right...

Well until next time... which for my own purposes I will attempt to not take so long to come back.

CPAT day

Another test/certification day has come. Today, in about 2 hours, I will be lining up to do the Candidate Physical Abilities Test. It is a timed test that I have to complete 8 stations in ten minutes and twenty seconds. It will be a hard fought 10 minutes and twenty seconds, but one that I am confident that I will be able to succeed in doing. I have visualized these event a thousand times in my head, been running at least twice a week for about 2 months and, most importantly, I have a never say die attitude. Basically they will have to drive me to the hospital before I would quit. If I do end up failing this test it will be my body shutting down on me way before I throw in the towel myself.

I try my hardest to no believe in jinxes, coincidences or any divine intervention kind of stuff. I am working this morning and will go straight from my bank job to take the test. My first customer this morning was an Overland Park firefighter cashing his pay check. Can't help but feel that is a good sign. My wife thinks it is god talking to me. I highly doubt that but if it is my only words back to him would be there is a lot bigger issue to worry about than my CPAT. Please go worry about something more important!

So the first station is that hardest one. They say 80 to 95% of the people who get passed the first station pass the test. Basically they wear you out, so then you have to do the rest of the test tired. You start with a 50 pound vest that has an extra 25 pounds of weight for the first station only. It is a brutal three minutes and twenty seconds on a stair mill at a rate of 60 steps per minute. Needless to say you are breathing really hard coming off those stairs.

Coming off the stairs they take the 25 pounds off and you do the rest of the test wearing only 50 pounds of weight. In between each station is 85 feet where you must walk as no running is allowed.

So 85 feet after the stair mill you arrive to the hose drag.

Pull the hose up and around a 90 degree turn then down to a knee and by hand you pull the remaining 100 feet of hose. After the stairs this will be a challenge but it is uncharged hose and that is a much easier feet than pulling a charged line.

85 feet later you are on to the equipment carry.

Carrying two unequal sized saws down a path and back while safely lifting and carrying them. this is a good chance to make up time with big steps and a chance to take a breather.

Another 85 feet and we are on to the ladder raise.

One ladder you throw up against the wall by walking in rung by rung until it's tip touches the wall. then a step over and you must extend a ladder by using the halyard. This must be done in a hand over hand fashion and you can't let it slip or fall uncontrolled.

You guessed it, 85 feet later the forcible entry station.


Any where from 5 to 20 hits with a sledge hammer will get you by this station. When practicing this one I was surprised that this station is more about technique than strength. If you hit the sweet spot on the prop it goes easier. You don't actually have to blow your wad trying to hit this thing as hard as you can.

After another 85 foot breather you are on to the search station.

After a crawl through a "maze" that is a dark u-shaped set of boxes that have a variety of heights and a few skinny sections to it. This is one where it is important to make sure you helmet and gloves are fitting ok!

Up from the darkness you walk 85 feet to the rescue station.

Pulling a dummy, I think it is 165 - 170 pounds, is a lot harder than it sounds. It is completely dead weight and the arms and legs can bend funny ways that most humans don't. But this is the next to last station and there is no quitting allowed. Especially at this point.

The last 85 feet takes you to the ceiling breach and pull station.

The last one, things are really difficult now. Pushing the machine up 3 times and pulling it back down 5 times is one set. Four sets need to happen and then time expires.

Are you ready to go, or tired from reading? I am ready to go...

They don't teach you about this in school

On Monday a tragic event took place involving the Kansas City Missouri Fire Department. On the way to a injury accident they were involved in an injury accident of their own. They struck and killed a 7 year old boy. This is a tragedy that will hang over the heads of the boys family, friends and the family and friends of the firefighters involved.

As a firefighter you are dedicating yourself to helping others. You are prepared to see some very bad situations. You are prepared for the fact that you can't help everyone and some people are going to die no matter how great of a life saving attempt you give. No one is prepared to kill another human being, firefighter or not, and especially if the human is a child.

The driver of this truck will never be the same person. At best he has months and months of counseling, talking and making amends with himself. At best he will be able to be rehabilitated from this and will be allowed to rejoin his department. Most likely this is something that this driver will think about for the rest of his life. PTSD doesn't just happen to soldiers returning from war. This driver will most likely see the image of this child that he undoubtedly feels responsible for killing every where he looks and defiantly in his dreams. Reports say that the driver had to be physically removed from the truck and he was clearly crying and broken. Who wouldn't be?

The other three firefighters jumped immediately from the truck in hope there was something they could do. There was nothing. A 22 ton vehicle versus a 7 year old boy only ends one way. The boy losses. Tragic no matter how you slice it. A family losses their son and brother and the firefighters have to deal with the fact that someone has died directly resulting from them.

Lots of controversy has surrounded this event. The boys father thinks that a cover up has happened and that the story has changed to protect the firefighters because their family is black. They say the truck didn't have lights and sirens on and that it was speeding through a school zone. I am going to give the father the benefit of the doubt about his intentions with these outlandish allegations. One thing I am sure about, this death is no one's fault. It is not a firefighters fault for responding to an emergency call. It is not the 7 year old boys fault for running out in the street in front of a fire truck. This is just a tragic event. There is an assumed risk that in driving any automobile that accidents are going to happen and sometimes people are going to die. It is also an assumed risk that in letting small children walk home from school accidents are going to happen and every once in a while those result in deaths. In this horrible event it just happens that both of these assumed risks happened at the same time.

I would never wish this situation on anyone. Like I said I will reserve my judgment on the events that took place. At the end of the day it doesn't really matter because there is still a dead boy out there. Lights and sirens or not. Speeding or not. Failing to look both ways before you cross the street or not. A person is dead and now is the time to support each other, not point fingers at each other.

The smell of smoke...

Walking into a house, even after a very small insignificant fire, the smell of smoke is overwhelming. This Friday I rode out with Consolidated Fire District 2 and got to smell the smoke after a small fire. Nothing exciting, but we thought it was going to be. A furnace filter burned up kicking some smoke out the vents, enough to fill a room with a good haze. No real smoke damage, other than the now noticeable spider webs. No one thinks about the fact that spider webs turn black after smoke passes through them, it is kind of cool almost a haunted house feel if it wasn't so bright from the sun coming in the windows.

That smell of smoke was an awesome taste of things to come. There was quite an adrenaline rush when the automatic alarm call we ran resulted in actual smoke. We had ran one automatic alarm earlier in the day and it was a leaking shower that filler the smoke alarm on the floor below with water. Not exciting at all. Pulling up to a automatic alarm and finding smoke is enough to get my heart pumping. It was quickly discovered to be a minor event that had burned itself out, but that smell of smoke still left an intoxicating aroma in the house. It wasn't a metal burning smell like most furnace fires. Since the filter is what burned it had a real house fire smell, that smell that wood and contents of a room puts off. It was a great feeling even though it wasn't the big one.

So I got to run my first house fire. It ended in a non-event, but could have been a big deal had it not burnt out or we not got there so quick. It is really interesting to see everyone turn serious and put their work faces on. No joking no unneeded talking. All communication was necessary and needed. All actions were deliberate and thought out. Sure the nerves got to the best of some and calling the fire a "regular" might have been over kill. I tell you what though, if a fire of any size happens at my house I would rather have over kill than someone slacking or putting off calling for additional help.

So in the end there was a little smoke stain on a wall, a lot of noticeable spider webs, and a few mud prints on the carpet. A door had to be breached to gain access but the firefighter that did it masterfully popped the door with his axe and didn't even damage the door or frame. Overall it was a success. Still left me wanting a little more, ok a lot more. I will take what I can get.

They also let me do blood pressure and pulse on a old lady that fell and busted her tooth and lip. That was great a great confidence booster for me with my EMT stuff. Now I have done stuff in real life that I had been nervous about doing in class. I am feeling better about this EMT stuff everyday.

The number 1 reason why...

Why would anyone in there right mind want to risk it all for complete strangers? The implied answer is because they enjoy it and want to help people. Well, duh. Tip for interviewing, don't ever answer the question of why you want to become a firefighter with the cookie cutter answer of you want to save people. Well no shit! I sure hope you aren't getting into firefighting because you like to watch people die!

So anyway, why would a fairly capable and fairly smart individual choose to be a firefighter? When everyone else is running from a certain situation why would anyone want to be the one to go against the flow of people and head into danger? I look at all the brave first responders at the 9/11 building collapses and see so many examples of masses of people running away while a honorable group of people were fighting against the crowds and debris so they could die doing their job. Which brings up another great point, why would anyone want to die for their job?

Everyone has there own reasons. A lot of them are probably similar, and everyone probably has a few that is on no one else's list. My list is very long and I will attempt to discuss my reasons why as time goes on. If anything just to remind myself of why I am doing this.

So the number one, top of the list, reason why I am doing this is my daughters. Might seem weird at first, especially because I had a hard time growing up with a firefighter as a father. But time passed and I understood what it was all about. I am sure the girls will figure it out some day too. My girls are pretty much my reason for living. Ok, not pretty much they ARE my reason for living. My wife deserves some credit for keeping me alive too, but without those girls I don't know that I would care what I was. With those girls I have a purpose greater than myself. I am not religious, nor do I care to be, so I guess these girls are my god. I answer to them ultimately. Any good or bad I do I will ultimately have to stand in front of them for judgment. Which makes me want to do good things. They make me want to accomplish something in my life. They make me want to be something to be proud of. I don't need to be a hero to anyone, outside of my house. I have a direct desire to be a hero, the all powerful, big, strong, invincible dad that story tellers talk about. Not to anyone else, just to those girls. There is a clear burden with this philosophy and that is there is a huge amount of risk with this job. I won't always be invincible and wont' always be the hero in every situation. But I don't doubt, that at the end of the day if I have tried my hardest and done my best I will be a hero to those girls. My number one reason to be a firefighter is also gives me my number one job once I become one.

I am studying and working my ass off to be the best firefighter I can be. So that once I become one I already have the mind frame of hard work, and dedication to my training. Because ultimately, once I am hired on a department, my number one reason for wanting to become a firefighter changes to my number one job as a firefighter. Making sure I get home every morning so I can kiss and hug those girls.